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Hats off to Henny Youngman:
My wife is an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud.
My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Someone stole all my credit cards, but I'm not reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife.
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"
My wife & I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
She has an electric blender, electric toaster, electric bread maker. Then she said, "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down! So what did I do? Bought her an electric chair.
My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. She called it the Dead Sea.
My wife was at the beauty shop for two hours today.... and that was only for the estimate.
My wife got a mudpack face treatment and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
My wife ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The garbage man says, "No, jump in!"
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jblaque's journal
What You Sow
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