Blaque's Blog of Horrors - From Swift Boats to Pork Shots

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MEMO TO: Ted Sampley, Professional Veteran

Courtesy of Gen. JC Christian, via ms_daisy_cutter
Dear Ted -

Although I was a big fan of your swiftboating operation against John Kerry, I haven't visited your web site in a couple of years. It's good to see to you're giving John McCain the same treatment.

I particularly enjoyed the story about how McCain can't be president because he suffered from PTSD after the war. Civilians just can't exploit the old crazy-Vietnam-vet stereotype as credibly as someone like you, a conservative professional veteran, can.

The same goes for your products. I'd probably catch hell if I sold Combat Infantry Badges on my web site. After all, they aren't trinkets. They're a badge of brotherhood and honor traditionally awarded only to those who've fought in combat against our nation's enemies - having a CIB means something. That's why it's great you're selling them. As a conservative professional veteran, you can get away with selling one to anybody. Now, guys like me, who fight our nation's wars with a keyboard, can become a part of the brotherhood too!

And as long as we're talking about your products, I have to tell you how happy I am to see that you're selling Crusader Pork Shot Hand Ointment. Do you use it, too? Where do get your pork shot? The first couple of hundred times I tried to harvest it were pure hell... I'm talking broken ribs, lacerations, etc... like I said, pure hell. Then, quite by accident, I learned that if you bite down on the pigs ear, it kind of immobilizes him and you can get down to business. Now, I can harvest pork shot for hours without getting so much as a scratch!

Keep up the good work.

P.S. I just noticed the Obama graphic you're using, and am wondering why you chose that particular one...

Did you think just slapping the word "nigger" across his face would be a little too subtle for your readers?

Tags: '08 elections, asshole, barack obama, john mccain, loathsome people, phony soldiers, politics, republican scum, republican smear, right-wing hack, swiftboat
From: Chicago
Mood: Pyew
Now Playing: 'Romeo is Bleeding' - Tom Waites

	From: nebris	Date: January 20th, 2008 06:49 am (UTC)		(Permalink)

I'm pretty fucking cynical, dude. But I gotta say that site really tweaked my melon. Damn...

~M~

	From: jblaque	Date: January 20th, 2008 07:22 am (UTC)		(Permalink)

For a good time, call (252) 527-0442.

	From: ludicrous	Date: January 20th, 2008 07:05 am (UTC)		(Permalink)

I want a CIB but I doubt it would go with any of my outfits.
Pork Ointment? lol. When I first moved here I met some guy who worked at a hog farm. His job was to jack off the HOGS! Seems the boars won't fuck a facsimile like the bulls will.

	From: jblaque	Date: January 20th, 2008 07:17 am (UTC)		(Permalink)

I've brought a few sows to climax in my day. ☺

	From: scarybaldguy	Date: January 20th, 2008 07:19 am (UTC)		(Permalink)

So how do you know my ex-wife?

Oh yes, I went there...

	From: ludicrous	Date: January 20th, 2008 07:38 am (UTC)		(Permalink)

The more I look, the more I want to bring this sow to climax.

	From: ygrii_blop	Date: January 20th, 2008 08:43 pm (UTC)		(Permalink)
	Am I disturbed?

I find this picture to be totally HOT, HOT, HOT!

	From: ludicrous	Date: January 20th, 2008 11:41 pm (UTC)		(Permalink)
	Re: Am I disturbed?

The more I look at pig girl, the more I want her.

besides, rubbing against ALL THOSE TITS would feel really really good.

I bet she's a squealer.

	From: coco_beans	Date: January 21st, 2008 02:06 am (UTC)		(Permalink)
	You guys...are....pigs.

I ate pig dick once.

	From: ludicrous	Date: January 21st, 2008 07:23 am (UTC)		(Permalink)
	Re: You guys...are....pigs.

It looks like.....so are they!

From: poniesinashed	Date: June 30th, 2009 10:47 pm (UTC)		(Permalink)
Pig Girl

Where did you find this one, ludicrous?!

	From: ludicrous	Date: July 1st, 2009 12:47 am (UTC)		(Permalink)
	Re: Pig Girl

why?

........DO YOU KNOW HER?

From: poniesinashed	Date: July 1st, 2009 06:49 pm (UTC)		(Permalink)
Re: Pig Girl

	From: ludicrous	Date: July 2nd, 2009 12:53 am (UTC)		(Permalink)
	Re: Pig Girl

She looks kind of like someone I know.

In any event, I believe I found the picture on 420chan.

	From: momus	Date: January 20th, 2008 07:16 am (UTC)		(Permalink)

This whole thing is fucked up.

I'm running for the hills.

	From: westrider	Date: January 20th, 2008 07:44 am (UTC)		(Permalink)

That's some pretty fucked up stuff. I'm actually feeling vaguely ill after browsing his site. On the other hand, your "currently playing" song is one of my all time favorites. Time to pull out Blue Valentine again.