Blaque's Blog of Horrors

Not Dead Yet ...

jblaque@gmail.com — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 01:45:14 GMT

...merely strapped for time and motivation. Truth be told, I haven't felt this good -- physically or mentally -- in years. I'll give at least a little bit of credit for that to my new friend, Cymbalta. ;)

That said, I'll probably drop dead from a heart attack tomorrow, right? It would figure.

Seriously, I do plan on jump-starting this wretched journal in the weeks ahead, so don't give up on me just yet. Meantime, if, for some strange reason, you kids want to keep tabs on me over at FB, drop me an e-mail at jblaque@gmail.com and I'll cheerfully add you to my friend's roster. I'm just about done posting all the shitty high school photos and other nostalgic crap over there, so there's a pretty good chance I won't bore you to tears. Election season is, after all, just around the corner, and I'm feeling the urge to drain my long-neglected venom gland on the Wingnut Nation. You can also find me on Twitter at jblaque, if you so desire. Same deal.

More soon... hope everyone is well-fed, well-feathered and, well... well.

When The Levee Breaks

jblaque@gmail.com — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 19:19:04 GMT

Of course, you have to wonder why all these corporations were eagerly supporting the drug-addled gasbag in the first place. You'd think that they cared more about profits that peop... oh, wait.

Stand with Sandra Fluke

Heads Up

jblaque@gmail.com — Thu, 01 Mar 2012 01:20:25 GMT

By now, I'm sure most (if not all) of you are aware of Google's new Privacy Policy (or, more accurately, their Lack of Privacy Policy), set to take effect at midnight tonight.

If you have a Google account (e.g., Gmail, Google+, Google Checkout), and have not specifically located and paused your Web History setting, Google will now be keeping track of every search you make, every site you visit, personal info such as your name, address, IP, mobile phone number, Gmail activity (with the ability to read, copy, collect and share your incoming and outgoing e-mails with third parties) and more -- most anything and everything they can get their hands on, in fact.

Up to now, this data has been separated from other Google products, but tomorrow, when the new policy goes into effect, it will be shared across all of the Google products you use.

If you'd like to prevent Google from combining this potentially sensitive data with the information it has collected from your YouTube, Google+ and other Google accounts, you can remove your Web History and stop it from being recorded moving forward.

Simple, really:

1) After logging into your Google account, type https://www.google.com/history into your browser. (Alternatively, you can choose Account Settings from the pull-down menu in the upper-right corner of a Google product such as Gmail, Google+, or Google.com.)

2) From the Account Settings page, scroll down to the Services header and click on the Go to Web History link.) If your Web History is enabled, you'll see a list of recent searches and sites visited.

3) Click the gray Remove All Web History button at the top of the page and a subsequent OK button to clear your Web History. This action also pauses the Web History feature so that it will no longer track your Web searches and whereabouts. If you'd like to fire it back up in the future, simply click the blue Resume button.

There you go... history erased, collection mechanism disabled, and your dark, lurid little secrets protected. ☺

Invite

jblaque@gmail.com — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 02:43:28 GMT

Yuck It Up

jblaque@gmail.com — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 05:41:40 GMT

H/T playgirl...

Y'know, I'll bet this shithead genuinely believes he was just being "folksy." Shithead.

My Freaky Meter Just Broke

jblaque@gmail.com — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 02:04:26 GMT

Courtesy of the one and only ed_dirt...

Yeah, me too.

Damned, Dirty Apes

jblaque@gmail.com — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 19:15:54 GMT

Please click on the image and tell Congress to reauthorize vital programs that protect elephants. Reposting to your LJ, Twitter, Facebook, etc. is also appreciated...

More on the elephant poaching crisis from the IFAW, Center for Conservation Biology Guardian, Wildlife Extra and Elephant Newswire.

Left up to me, there'd be a worldwide, shoot-on-sight helicopter hunting season for poachers... I'd hang their fuckin' heads in my den with glee.

Sands Through The Hourglass

jblaque@gmail.com — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 18:57:53 GMT

Ron Lyle, one of the great heavyweights of the 1970s, has joined Smokin' Joe Frazier in the Great Beyond. He was 70 years old.

Rest in peace, old soldier.

Congratulations, Humans.

jblaque@gmail.com — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 23:35:50 GMT

The Western Black Rhino is now officially extinct.

According to the International Union for Conservation, a quarter of all mammals are at risk for extinction.

Now back to whatever stupid, meaningless thing you were doing before you read this. Damned dirty apes.

Election Night Summary

jblaque@gmail.com — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 05:49:50 GMT

Win of the Night: Mississippi's "personhood" amendment soundly defeated, angering wingnuts (and zygotes) across the state.

Runner-Up: Arizona voters give Russell Pearce (self-proclaimed "Tea Party President" and author of the infamously racist SB 1070) the boot.

Stat of the Night: More people in Ohio voted to repeal Kasich's anti-union law tonight than voted for Kasich in 2010.

Mississippi Burning

jblaque@gmail.com — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 23:57:35 GMT

Polls closing soon... interesting night, indeed...

ObQOTD: "I don't even know who this lady is." - Herman Cain (to ABC News), on Sharon Bialek

Fellow Boxing Fans...

jblaque@gmail.com — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 23:30:16 GMT

The Atlantic's Andrew Cohn has written a really good (albeit short) piece on Smokin' Joe --

http://tinyurl.com/79x74en
P.S. I, for one, will never forgive Ali.

Hear, Hear...

jblaque@gmail.com — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 19:17:42 GMT

Hat-tip mzflux:

http://robinhoodtax.org/

ObQOTD: "I would like to thank Al Franken for revealing that the anti-bullying campaign is a gay agenda ruse." - https://twitter.com/Melvin_Udall_

So Long, Joe

jblaque@gmail.com — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 04:34:06 GMT

My very first childhood hero, dead at 67...

Rest in peace, Champ.
Damn you, Reaper.

Seeya Later, Herm

jblaque@gmail.com — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 00:45:45 GMT

Never thought I'd agree with anything Bill Bennett had to say...

"If Herman Cain wants to be taken seriously as a public advocate for anything, never mind running for the chief executive and commander in chief...he needs to give a full press conference dedicated exclusively to this issue and these allegations... For we who led the charge against Bill Clinton on a number of related issues to continue to blame the media or other campaigns or say it simply doesn't matter makes us the hypocrites as well.

"[...] If Herman Cain cannot stand up to these charges, if he refuses to, then he should step out of the race. A man big enough to run for president should be big enough to have a full and candid press conference on all of this -- he wants us to elect him president after all, he's asking us to trust our lives and the country's life to him. This could be one of his finest moments and it could be one of his worst. But either way, he must confront the moment candidly and manfully."

Not that this blowhard coward had a shot at the nomination to begin with. Shame, really. I'd have relished seeing him publicly disemboweled.

Looks like you're still stuck with this piece of shit, 'Pugs...

Good luck with that. ☺

Only In America ➀

jblaque@gmail.com — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 17:35:19 GMT

First in a series:

ObKotter: Another kidney calamity, followed by some sorta freakish seizure (in the check-out line at the grocery store, no less). Remind me to tell you about what the paramedics found tucked in my waistband. (><)

"The Cradle of Life..."

jblaque@gmail.com — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 06:56:28 GMT

"The center of civilization... Over the ages and throughout the world, men have fought for it -- battled for it... died for it. One might say it's The Most Powerful Thing On Earth...

Hey betawriter -- weren't we discussing this very topic the other night?

Strange days, indeed. ☺

How To Ruin A Teabagger's Week

jblaque@gmail.com — Sun, 17 Jul 2011 23:15:07 GMT

Just toss a little statistical accelerant at 'em...

• Percentage change, since 2001, of the number of white children in the U.S.: -9.8

• Percentage change, since 2001, of the number of black children in the U.S.: -2.3

• Percentage change, since 2001, of the number of Hispanic children in the U.S.: +38.8
That alone oughta send 'em straight into speaking tongues. ☺

Quoting Chris Healey, via AddictingInfo (emphasis mine):

"The Tea Party, as we know them today, sprang forth soon after Barack Obama took office, and suddenly started protesting our terrible tax burden and seemed to believe that they had something in common with the colonists of 1773. Some even dressed in period costume; a sure sign they had a valid point.

Unfortunately,facts really aren’t on the Teabaggers' side. Recent, widely reported figures actually show that in real terms the tax revenue collected from Americans is actually the lowest it has been since Truman. Yep, the job killing, socialist, Marxist, Kenyan, radical, do-too-much, do nothing, Muslim president is actually in office during a time when our tax burden is lower than during Ronald Reagen and both George Bushes! And, unlike the Brit hating tea-tossers of '73, the average Teabagger in America does in fact have full democratic representation in exchange for their tax dollars.

The reality is our economy cannot really continue with such low taxation levels. Should you actually talk to a Teabagger or a Republican about what they actually want to cut, they may go into a little rant about welfare recipients and making government smaller, but in the real world they won’t actually address the elephant in the room: Military spending.

As a nation our military spending is over half a trillion dollars a year. Put another way, if every country in the world had their military spending displayed on a pie chart, the American slice would be 43%; almost as much as the entire rest of the world combined.

But does smaller government mean not having a military presence in over 150 countries to the average Teabagger or Republican? No, of course not. It seems they would rather spend their time trying to repeal ‘Obamacare’ so that we can return to a time when sick children were kicked off health care plans for being too sick, or too expensive to help. They will be quick to support the abolition of abortion because it is “killing babies” but when said babies are born into the world, if their parents are poor, tough luck; no Obamacare for you. You can just contribute to our embarrassingly high infant mortality figures (We’re currently 46th in the world, according to the CIA 2009 numbers – in case you're keeping score).

When you peel back the nonsense of the Tea Party and look under the hood, what you actually see are a bunch of selfish morons who basically dislike our President (or possibly any non-white person), want to pay little to no taxes, and want to cut social and welfare programs to anyone other than themselves. Much like the Republican controlled Congress, who recently implemented new ‘spending controls’ that were designed to cut ‘wasteful’ Democratic spending, but just so happened to contain exemptions for pretty much anything they wanted to spend money on.

So what does the Tea Party really stand for? According to their web site, they want “fiscal responsibility, limited government, and free market.” But despite the concept of fiscal responsibility there seems to be no clamor on the right to reduce our unsustainable military presence and spending around the world. When it comes to limited government, the average Teabagger seems to side with Republicans and demand that the government outlaw or severely curtail abortion and gay marriage rights, enact flag-burning laws, outlaw smoking pot, and so on and so forth. They seem to be down with a free market, but it’s a lack of regulation that caused a meltdown in our economy recently, not government interference or regulation.

Ultimately this is my issue with the Teabaggers: They're playing the role of an oppressed minority who are being terrorized by a big government machine hell-bent on stealing their guns, their liberty and life as they know it, all while increasing taxes. However, the reality is that the Teabaggers are mainly middle to upper class white people who want to “take our country back.” These people want lower taxes, despite the reality that they are about as low as they have been for a very long time. They want limited/small government, yet this seems to exclude the military spending and on issues they care about such as the prevention of gay marriage, abortion and potheads.

For all of these reasons, I’d like to call the Teabaggers out for their B.S. ...

- Don’t talk to me about small government if you're not planning on at least halving our military budget (which would still leave it three times higher than China’s).

- Don’t talk to me about free market and less government interference, when you seem to want the government to impose religious and moral ‘values’ on those of us who may not share said values.

- Don’t talk to me about wanting to pay less taxes, while you are supporting Republican handouts to millionaires...

In fact, take your stupid costume, your stupid, selfish ideas, your racism, and your small-minded bigotry and just don’t talk to me at all.

Image Dump v2011.3 (Mildly NSFW)

jblaque@gmail.com — Thu, 14 Jul 2011 06:15:07 GMT

Comments always welcome...

Another Whiff of America's Taint

jblaque@gmail.com — Thu, 07 Jul 2011 04:46:51 GMT

This Friday, Arizona's Medicaid program will take an estimated $190 million hit, directly affecting up to 150,000 ~~lazy slackers~~ low-income state residents. That's when Brewer & Co. will begin denying health coverage to childless adults who fall below the federal poverty line.

Arizona has been providing health insurance coverage to ~~welfare leeches~~ poverty-stricken citizens for a decade under a ballot measure approved by the voters in 2000, but Brewer will no longer stand for such ~~socialist handouts~~ costly programs. She expects the new move to save $190 million during the first year alone by sweeping 135,000 ~~undeserving vermin~~ poor people off the state's health care rolls.

I still say that Phoenix, Flagstaff, Tucson, Chandler, Scottsdale and John McCain's swimming pool would all make perfect locations for nuclear waste dumps. What harm could it do that the xenophobes, wingnuts and 'baggers haven't already done?

Gunsmith/Collector/Historian Question

jblaque@gmail.com — Tue, 05 Jul 2011 08:50:25 GMT

Does anyone know enough about "pepper-box" pistols to tell me anything about this one (history, country of origin, retail/auction value, etc.)?

All I know is that the gun (and the companion powder flask) was found in a tattered leather doctor's bag on St. John, USVI in 1961. Unfortunately, it has no maker markings at all. The grip is forged from a particularly dense wood (lignum vitae?), with abalone inlays and decorative brass trim.

FWIW, the doctor's bag also contained some surgical tools, a wooden horse-hair brush, an inkwell and an assortment of small bottles, tubes and tins (none labeled, marked or numbered).

Any information I can use prior to a paid appraisal would be greatly appreciated!

"Independence Day": An Annual Tribute To Vinnie Jordan

jblaque@gmail.com — Fri, 01 Jul 2011 05:26:25 GMT

Vinnie Jordan: 1955-2001
For those of you that have been my friends since the alt.tasteless days, the name Vinnie Jordan needs no introduction.

For those of you that've never heard of him:

Vinnie Jordan blasted on to the 'net in the early 1990s. He found a home in alt.tasteless (in fact, he was named Mr. Alt Tasteless for 1997) and its less slutty stepsister group, alt.peeves, and he was well-known on the ba.* and scruz.* groups. A Google Groups search on pigface@deeptht.armory.com, pigface@netcom.com and vinniej@sco.com will show his meanderings into other newsgroups through cross-posted flamewars and trolls.

He had a number of noms de 'net: Pigface, Notorious P.I.G, One Sick Individual, King of Beasts, Missing Link, Dirty White Boy, Filthy McNasty, Pickled Punk, Doggiestyle, Official Asshole of the 1996 Olympics, and I.M. Bent.

Off the 'net, Vinnie was a gentleman (except when he was channeling Pigface; in that case, he could be both funny and infuriating to be around, depending on whether you were his target or his audience). Yet Vinnie had a streak of self-destruction and seemed destined (and at times, determined) to meet an early death. He said he expected to live to age 40 and that anything after that was borrowed time.

Vinnie was expressive and profane and belligerent. But those who knew him well knew another side to Vinnie — a side that was rarely expressed in the public sphere of the 'net. You'll see proof of that in some of the e-mail exchanges that people have contributed. Vinnie died in 2001 at age 46, in Santa Cruz, California.

The following post was among the first of Vinnie's works that I read after aimlessly wandering into a.t. in 1995, and one that I have reposted in various other forums every July 4th as a nod to his twisted talent. I warn you that it isn't pretty, but I hope that you'll enjoy it as much as I (still) do.

Subject: Independence Day
Date: Wed, 5 Jul 1995 06:00:54 GMT

Fuck your 4th of July.

Independence Day is the day that all Americans celebrate their freedom, but that don't have no legitimacy here at the work farm.

And what am I doing here? Well, it was originally a rape charge, which was later unsubstantiated. Unfortunately, while I was being held at the county jail, some punk that had had his wife raped right in front of him went ballistic, and came after me in the chow line. I beat him so severely with the edge of my metal supper tray that they took him out of the chow hall, convulsing seriously. I didn't kill the prick, but he ain't been heard from since, so I must've fucked him up big-time.

Anyway, today's going to be my Independence Day. Colburn's going down.

When I first got sent here, Colburn hadn't heard that my rape charges were bogus, so he and a couple of his boys attacked me in the shower. Beat me, and fucked me in the ass. Things like that, you just don't let them go. So, one by one, I went after them. As a group, they were too much for me, but one-on-one, I was superior. First, I caught Little Bobunder the bleachers. I grabbed him under the chin, took two running steps and smashed his head firmly into a 2x4 that conveniently was two inches lower than the top of Bob's head.

Next day, I see Colburn in the yard. He looks me up and down, 'cause he don't know if I just nutted up on Bob, or if I was bent on revenge. It wasn't until I feloniously assaulted Kelly that Colburn knew what my mission was. I found myself alone at the end of my working shift down in the laundry. All the other cats were back in their bunks. Just then, Kelly walks by, and I don't know if anyone else is around, but I know I ain't going to get another shot at Kelly, once he figures out I'm after him. So, as he walked by the hall I was pressed up against, I reached around his throat and cut off his wind, until he went down to one knee, gasping for breath.

When I let up on the choke hold, he was off balance, and I was ready to leap down his throat, if he was stupid enough to try to challenge me. He wasn't.

More's the pity.

Anyway, I explain to him that he's going to catch a beating. Image, and all that. He starts blubbering, "It was Colburn. He's the one that said to get you..."

I cut off this line of reasoning with a sharp slap to the chops, and I tell him that I won't beat his sorry ass to death if he will just tell everyone that I did. He said yes, and then I administered a beating that would have done De Sade proud. They took Kelly away on a fuckin' stretcher, and tried their best to splint and needle-and- thread his body back together.

Good luck.

Again, next day I saw Colburn. He gives me a "C,mere" wave, and I saunter on over to see what he wants. He says, "Let it go. You got your revenge with Bob and Kelly. You come after me, you're gonna get got. And I mean it, Vinnie." I deadeye the fuckstain, and without another word, I walks away. Confidently, and with a new purpose.

And that's why you see me here, waiting in a blind alley for my quarry. He'll be coming down the hall shortly. Just watch what I do to him.

See this? I been workin' on it in the workshop. I've been melding this copper wire together with the acetalyne torch, and it's nearly a perfect substitute for a roll of quarters, and if you know your basic street philosophy, you know I'm going to plant it in the palm of my hand, in order to emulate the premise of having a mitt of steel, before I punch this prick out.

Hush, now. Here he comes.

Look at the surprise on his beefy face as I crash the strengthened fist into the center of his forehead. How his head waggles on his shoulderblades, as I tie his hands behind his back.

"Vinnie," he says, "Don't do it. There's a lot of cats in this joint that'll off you just for fucking with me." I knew better. I talked to a lot of the spades out in the yard, and they'd have no problem with an environment that didn't have Colburn in it. I also talked to a few of the dudes that Colburn figured as allies, only to find out that they only listened to him out of fear.

I'll tell you, it's hard to take a threat from someone with his hands tied behind his back. A bully, whom everyone hates, but are too afraid to go out after themself. He ain't got nothing in the way of backing. On the contrary, I've got carte blanche to off the prick. That's how he ended up here, in my lap.

Listen to the punk blubber, "I didn't mean nothing. I thought you was bad goods. I thought you was a rapist. If it means anything, I'm sorry!"

It obviously don't mean shit to me. Watch, as I run the blade of this homemade shiv across the throat of this punk who violated my manhood. Then, watch as I open a slit in his stomach, and grab a handful of his intestines and shove them through the spot where his front teeth used to be, before I punched them out with the enhanced "Fist of Fury." Watch the look of horror on his face, as he realizes that the blood and bile that are pouring down his throat are coming from his own abdomen.

Watch, as the realization of his own mortality shows on his features.

Yeah, they'll bust me for murdering this punk. But I avenged a wrong, a necessity in this prison life. And, you know what? I got no regrets. I may spend the rest of my days in this hellhole. But, it'll be easy time.

'Cause there ain't nobody else here that's gonna fuck with me. No time.

Never.

Hooray for Hollywood

jblaque@gmail.com — Fri, 06 May 2011 18:05:00 GMT

A rare and revealing interview with the brilliant creative mind behind Fast & Furious Five (this week's top-grossing film, just ahead of Tyler Perry's Madea's Big Happy Family)...

The Truth About "Reaganomics"

jblaque@gmail.com — Wed, 04 May 2011 02:13:10 GMT

UMKC research professor and former Wall Street economist Michael Hudson explains the fallacy of "Trickle Down" economics:

http://michael-hudson.com/

Coming Attractions

jblaque@gmail.com — Mon, 02 May 2011 05:04:07 GMT

I can hardly wait to see how the wingnuts try to spin this tomorrow morning.