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If conservatives don't want to be seen as bitter people who cling to their guns and religion and anti-immigrant sentiments, they should stop being bitter and clinging to their guns, religion and anti-immigrant sentiments... 
(Hat-tip Bill Maher)It's been a week now, and I still don't know what those "tea bag" protests were about. I saw signs protesting abortion, illegal immigrants, the bank bailout and that gay guy who's going to win "American Idol." But it wasn't tax day that made them crazy; it was election day. Because that's when Republicans became what they fear most: a minority. The conservative base is absolutely apoplectic because, because... well, nobody knows. They're mad as hell, and they're not going to take it anymore. Even though they're not quite sure what "it" is. But they know they're fed up with "it," and that "it" has got to stop. Here are the big issues for normal people: the war, the economy, the environment, mending fences with our enemies and allies, and the rule of law. And here's the list of Republican obsessions since President Obama took office: that his birth certificate is supposedly fake, he uses a teleprompter too much, he bowed to a Saudi guy, Europeans like him, he gives inappropriate gifts, his wife shamelessly flaunts her upper arms, and he shook hands with Hugo Chavez and slipped him the nuclear launch codes. Do these sound like the concerns of a healthy, vibrant political party? It's sad what's happened to the Republicans. They used to be the party of the big tent; now they're the party of the sideshow attraction, a socially awkward group of mostly white people who speak a language only they understand. Like Trekkies, but paranoid. The GOP base is convinced that Obama is going to raise their taxes (which he just lowered). But, you say, "that's just the fringe of the Republican Party!" No, it's not. The governor of Texas, Rick Perry, is not afraid to say publicly that thinking out loud about Texas seceding from the Union is appropriate considering that... Obama wants to raise taxes 3% on 5% of the people? I'm not sure exactly what Perry's independent nation would look like, but I'm pretty sure it would be free of taxes and Planned Parenthood. And I would have to totally rethink my position on a border fence. I know. It's not about what Obama's done. It's what he's planning. But you can't be sick and tired of something someone might do. Republican Rep. Michele Bachmann of Minnesota recently said she fears that Obama will build "reeducation" camps to indoctrinate young people. But Obama hasn't made any moves toward taking anyone's guns, and with money as tight as it is, the last thing the president wants to do is run a camp where he has to shelter and feed a bunch of fat, angry white people. Look, I get it, "real America." After an eight-year run of controlling the White House, Congress and the Supreme Court, this latest election has you feeling like a rejected husband. You've come home to find your things out on the front lawn -- or at least more things than you usually keep out on the front lawn. You're not ready to let go, but the country you love is moving on. And now you want to call it a whore and key its car. That's what you are, the bitter divorced guy whose country has left him — obsessing over it, haranguing it, blubbering one minute about how much you love it and vowing the next that if you cannot have it, nobody will. But it's been almost 100 days, and your country is not coming back to you. She's found somebody new. And it's a black guy. The healthy thing to do is to just get past it and learn to cherish the memories. You'll always have New Orleans and Abu Ghraib. And if today's conservatives are insulted by this, because they feel they're better than the people who have the microphone in their party, then I say to them what I would say to moderate Muslims: Denounce your radicals. To paraphrase George W. Bush, either you're with them or you're embarrassed by them. The thing that you people out of power have to remember is that the people in power are not secretly plotting against you. They don't need to. They already beat you in public. Tags: '08 elections, barack obama, bill maher, dumb americans, gop meltdown, republican implosion, right-wing lunatics
From: Chicago
Mood:  Trainwreck Spotting
Now Playing: 'Poor Millionaire' - Gregory Isaacs
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The AP has released its Top 10 News Stories of '08...
 ( Here They Are )Stories that almost made the Top 10 included Cyclone Nargis, which killed more than 84,000 people in Myanmar; Hurricanes Gustav and Ike, which wreaked deadly damage in the Caribbean and on the U.S. Gulf Coast; and the seesaw fate of same-sex marriage in California, where a court ruling approving it was later overturned by a ballot measure. Several write-in votes were cast for two late-breaking stories — the indictment of Rod Blagojevich and the efforts of struggling U.S. automakers to get a federal bailout. The alleged financial scam involving Bernard Madoff also was revealed too late to make the ballot. Any other stories missing from the list, IYO?Tags: '08 elections, '08 in review, china, corruption, economy, environment, iraq, natural disasters, oil, politics, terrorism, war
From: Chicago
Mood:  Good Riddance '08
Now Playing: 'Shame, Shame, Shame' - Shirley & Company
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Last week, we learned that Minnesota's Norm Coleman is under FBI investigation in connection with charges that he & wife Laurie accepted a little extra "spending money" from a wealthy supporter... 
(H/T MissLaura)No shock, then, to learn that he's lawyered up... big time: Four of Minnesota's biggest legal guns have cast their shadows over two lawsuits that have drawn the attention of the FBI.
They have been retained by U.S. Sen. Norm Coleman; his wife, Laurie; Jim Hays, her insurance company employer; and Nasser Kazeminy, a multi-millionaire friend of the Colemans who is accused in the lawsuits of sending them money in 2007 through Hays' company. Coleman's Senate ethics form reports no such payment. As Minnesotans wait to find out who their next senator will be, how many of 'em now regret buying into Coleman's open character attacks on Franken? P.S. Out of nowhere, Madame & I just discovered hundreds upon hundreds of tiny, black gnats, clinging lifelessly to the skylight, patio door and window frames in our family room. Not a single one of 'em alive. Mother Nature has a strange sense of humor, to be sure. Tags: '08 elections, insects, politics, republican corruption
From: Insect Jonestown
Mood:  Eskimo
Now Playing: Vacuum Cleaner
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(Hat-tip PolitickerCA)Former presidential candidate and bona fide whackjob Alan Keyes, along with other members of his American Independent Party have filed suit in California Superior Court ito stop the state from giving its electoral votes to Barack Obama. The suit contends that Secretary of State Debra Bowen and Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger shouldn't be allowed to certify the election results for electors until Obama or his supporters provide proof of his natural-born citizenship in the United States. Conservative bloggers maintained during the election that Obama was born in Kenya, not Hawaii, and had citizenship in other countries, thus disqualifying him from the presidency. Groups such as FactCheck.org investigated the claims and determined that Obama had a valid birth certificate from Hawaii. As of last night, it was not clear how soon the suit would get a court hearing. Tags: '08 elections, alan keyes, barack obama, republican smear, right-wing lunatics, swiftboat
From: Chicago
Mood:  Amused
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And anyone else who cares about the Coleman-Franken recount — 
You can track the results, updated every minute, right here.Man, this is gonna be a squeaker. At the moment, the count is 1,211,542 (41.99%) Coleman vs. 1,211,304 (41.98%) Franken. P.S. And speaking of Minnesota... After suggesting that Barack Obama had anti-American views in an exchange three weeks ago with MSNBC host Chris Matthews, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) said that she was "extremely grateful that we have an African-American who has won this year." She called his victory "a tremendous signal we sent." "We"? Who's we, paleface?Tags: '08 elections, politics, republican scum
From: Chicago
Mood:  C'mon, Al!
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...I vowed to lay off the politics for awhile, but this is just too WTF not to share...
She didn't know Africa was a continent? O_o So whaddya think... is the Grand Ol' Party (with a healthy assist from FOX News) throwing Yukon Barbie under the bus in a panicked effort not to humiliate themselves in 2012... or could they simply have fumbled the VP vetting ball this badly? ... and then, there's this (emphasis mine): Newsweek has earned that Palin's shopping spree at high-end department stores was more extensive than previously reported.
While publicly supporting Palin, McCain's top advisers privately fumed at what they regarded as her outrageous profligacy. One senior aide said that Nicolle Wallace had told Palin to buy three suits for the convention and hire a stylist. But instead, the vice presidential nominee began buying for herself and her family — clothes and accessories from top stores such as Saks Fifth Avenue and Neiman Marcus.
According to two knowledgeable sources, a vast majority of the clothes were bought by a wealthy donor, who was shocked when he got the bill. Palin also used low-level staffers to buy some of the clothes on their credit cards.
The McCain campaign found out last week when the aides sought reimbursement. One aide estimated that she spent "tens of thousands" more than the reported $150,000, and that $20,000 to $40,000 went to buy clothes for her husband. Some articles of clothing have apparently been lost.
An angry aide characterized the shopping spree as "Wasilla hillbillies looting Neiman Marcus from coast to coast," and said the truth will eventually come out when the Republican Party audits its books. These people are crooks, liars and/or lunatics. All of 'em. Do not want.Tags: '08 elections, fox news, gop lizard queens, gop meltdown, republican implosion, republican scum, youtube
Mood:  Go Away
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(Hat-tip Devilstower)Apparently, being a stage prop for John McCain doesn't pay well enough to cover all those publicist's bills. Joe, the man who would be a plumber, is not exactly flush: Joe the Plumber is short on cash and unemployed ... "I got no financial offers. I am broke," Joe Wurzelbacher said Monday. While Joe does have plans to write a book (or rather, put his name on a book), it's surprising to learn that daydreaming about everything from Nashville to Congress isn't a lucrative career. So in the meantime, Joe has other ideas about how he could raise some funds. "I am starting a charity up, it's called 'Secure Our Dream.' It's just about people, neighbors in the community," Wurzelbacher told FOXNews.com. ... He said he hasn't figured out how he's going to finance the charity, but knows how he wants the money to be spent.
"You know there's a lady on my street that is going to lose her house because of disability. You know ... that's something this charity that I am starting would help, help people directly," he said. Wait a second. Joe wants to help out people in his neighborhood? Doesn't that make him kind of a... community organizer? You know, being an imaginary organizer is just like being an imaginary plumber, except you don't have any imaginary tools. On second thought, isn't Joe saying he knows better than other people how their own money should be spent... Isn't that kind of... socialist?Tags: '08 elections, asshole, john mccain
From: Chicago
Mood:  Bury 'Em
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My great grandfather came to this country in 1918 and worked the coal mines for more than 30 years. One of the things my grandmother told me about him is that he "could smell a con-man from a mile away." Apparently, the guys working the mines today have that very same talent... 
(Hat-tip Nick Juliano)The hemorrhaging McCain campaign has apparently decided its last, best hope to steal this election lies in a distorted, out-of-context, months-old clip of Barack Obama talking about coal. McCain has claimed Obama wants to "bankrupt" the coal industry, based on a clip from a January interview with the San Francisco Chronicle's editorial board. The clip was posted online by the same YouTube user who last month "unearthed") and heavily edited a 2001 clip of Obama speaking to Chicago Public Radio. This time, the coal clip followed the same path to prominence as the previous mini-scandal: from YouTube, to right-wing blog, to the Drudge Report, to Fox News to McCain stump speech. In it, Obama was discussing his support for a cap & trade system to reduce carbon emissions, which would create a market on which companies could trade emissions credits. Such a system, proponents say, would reduce pollution while spurring investment in cleaner sources of energy. Obama also has said he supports "clean coal" technology, which researchers hope would allow exploitation of coal power without as much pollution. "So if somebody wants to build a coal-powered plant, they can; it's just that it will bankrupt them because they're going to be charged a huge sum for all that greenhouse gas that's being emitted," Obama said in January, referring to traditional coal plants. Suddenly worried about all the jobs such "bankrupting" would cause, McCain made the line a central point when he spoke in Virginia earlier today (where he trails in most polls). The nation's largest union representing coal miners immediately came to Obama's defense. "Sen. John McCain and his running mate... have once again demonstrated that they are willing to say anything and do anything to win this election. Their latest twisting of the truth is about coal and some comments Sen. Obama made last January about the future use of coal in America," said Cecil E. Roberts, president of the United Mine Workers of America, in a statement. Roberts noted that McCain and the Republicans ignored Obama's overall point during his interview, wherein he told the Chronicle, "This notion of no coal, I think, is an illusion," noting the amount of energy the U.S. derives from coal. Obama pushed for development of technology to sequester carbon emissions, the central tenant of so called "clean" coal. "Despite what the McCain campaign and some far right-wing blogs would have Americans believe, Sen. Obama has been and remains a tremendous supporter of coal and the future of coal," Roberts said. P.S. The coal issue is a particularly tricky one for ol' Straight Talk. In 2003, he and Sen. Joe Lieberman co-sponsored one of the first cap and trade bills in the Senate aimed at reducing carbon emissions. McCain mysteriously removed his name from a similar measure that was debated earlier this year. Indeed, on his Web site, McCain still touts his proposal for a cap and trade system and development of low-emissions alternatives. Surely he and Obama would quibble on the details of such a system, but they share the same basic goals. Nonetheless, the coal industry traditionally supports Republicans, and John McCain is now the party's nominee. So the industry - and McCain - are their doing their part to paint Obama as "anti-coal." Somewhere, my great grandpa is holding his nose.Tags: '08 elections, coal, energy, john mccain, republican smear
From: Chicago
Mood:  No Prisoners
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Twitch.
 The 'Pugs have made yet another last-minute grab at the straw bale - this time by offering $10,000 to an Oxford academic to “prove” that Barack Obama's autobiography was ghostwritten by "America's Terrorist," William Ayers. Dr Peter Millican - a philosophy don at Hertford College, Oxford who devised a computer software program that can detect when works are by the same author by comparing favorite words and phrases - was contacted last week and offered $10,000 to assess alleged similarities between Obama’s bestseller, Dreams from My Father, and Ayers' memoir, Fugitive Days. The offer was made by one Robert Fox, a California businessman (and brother-in-law of Republican congressman Chris Cannon), who hoped to corroborate a theory previously advanced by "independent writer and producer" Jack Cashill. When questioned, both Fox and Cannon each suggested that the other one had taken the initiative. Cannon said that he merely "recommended" computer testing of the books, and doubted whether Obama wrote his autobiography, adding: “If Ayers was the author, that would be interesting.” For his part, Fox said he'd only "hoped" Cannon would raise the $10,000 to run the test: “It was Congressman Cannon who initially pointed me in that direction and, from our conversation, I thought he might be able to find someone [to raise the money].” Millican says - flat out - that Fox conted him directly: “He was entirely upfront... He offered me $10,000 and sent me electronic versions of the text from both books.” Millican took a preliminary look and found the charges “very implausible”. A deal was agreed for "more detailed research" but when Millican said the results had to be made public - even if no link to Ayers was proved - interest suddenly waned. Millican goes on: “I thought it was extremely unlikely that we would get a positive result. It is the sort of thing where people make claims after seeing a few crude similarities and go overboard on them.” He said Fox gave him the impression that Cannon had got “cold feet about it being seen to be funded by the Republicans.” Cannon still insists that he was "not interested" in making an issue of Obama’s memoir, “even if it were scientifically proven” to be someone else’s work. Tags: '08 elections, gop meltdown, john mccain, republican implosion
From: Chicago
Mood:  One More Day
Now Playing: Indian Summer
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"Below the streets that steam and hiss, the devil's in his hole..."
(Hat-tip Sarah Lai Stirland)According to the South Florida Sun-Sentinel, citizens of Broward County are receiving deceptive robocalls from someone impersonating Elections Supervisor Brenda Snipes, telling them that they can vote by phone on election day. Just another example of the depths these people will plumb (like the group in Virginia, distributing flyers informing citizens that - because of "the crowds at the polls" - the State Board of Elections has scheduled Republicans to vote on the 4th, and Democrats on the 5th). The "two-day voting" scam has now spread to Pennsylvania as well. Surprise, surprise. P.S. You might want to keep both this and this at your fingertips on election day. Depending on what state you're in, you very well may need them. (Thanks for the links, Joe-Joe.) Tags: '08 elections, john mccain, republican corruption, right-wing lunatics
From: Chicago
Mood: Fool Me Twice...
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 Former Republican Secretary of State Lawrence Eagleburger - one of McCain's most prominent supporters - offered a stunningly frank and remarkably bleak assessment of Yukon Barbie's capacity to handle the presidency should such a scenario arise. Eagleburger, who served under George H.W. Bush (and whose endorsement is often trumpeted by McCain), said that Palin is not only unprepared to take over the job on a moment's notice but - even after some time in office - would only amount to an "adequate" commander-in-chief. "And I devoutly hope that [she] would never be tested," he added for good measure, referring both to Palin's policy dexterity and the idea of McCain not making it through his time in office. Eagleburger's remarks took place during an interview on National Public Radio that was, ironically, billed as "making the case" for a McCain presidency. Asked by the host whether Palin could step in during a time of crisis, he reverted to sarcasm before leveling the harsh blow. "It is a very good question," he said, pausing a few seconds, then adding with a chuckle: "I'm being facetious here. Look, of course not." P.S. McCain was asked to respond to Eagleburger's remarks during an appearance on Good Morning America today. "Larry has never had a chance to meet Sarah," he muttered before soiling his diaper and spilling a bowl of orange jello into his lap. Tags: '08 elections, gop lizard queens, gop meltdown, john mccain, republican corruption
From: Blaque's House of Horrors
Mood: Trick or Treat!
Now Playing: 'Experiment in Terror' - Fantomas
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Hat-tip Logan Murphy...
(Artwork by Zina Saunders)You've gotta admit, Yukon Barbie has been a treasure trove of chuckles for we progressives this election season. Aside from her astounding ignorance and mind-boggling stupidity, charges of socialism, communism and terrorism on the campaign trail have transformed her into a walking, talking poster child for failed Republican policies and talking points (not to mention one of the most spectacular sideshow freaks in American political history)... And so, the final act begins.According to the AP's Beth Fouhy, Palin's latest attempt at an energy policy speech in front of workers at an Ohio solar energy plant didn't go over too well. Gee... I wonder why: TOLEDO, Ohio (AP) — Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin on Wednesday called for a "clean break" from the Bush administration's energy policies, which she says rely too much on importing foreign oil.
Palin spoke after touring Xunlight Corp., one of a handful of solar technology startup companies in Toledo, a struggling industrial city in this swing state whose leaders and citizens are hoping that the solar companies will create jobs to replace some of those lost by downsizing in the auto industry.
But Palin made only a passing reference to solar power in her speech and instead renewed her call for more drilling in U.S. coastal waters. She repeated her signature anthem, "drill, baby, drill," which seemed to fall a bit flat on the audience at the plant... I hate to admit it, but I'm gonna miss her. Just a little. Tags: '08 elections, energy, failure, gop lizard queens, john mccain, oil
From: Chicago
Mood: 5 Days
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(Hat-tip Jesse Berney)Let's face it, Republicans are never going to allow genuine bipartisanship to happen during an Obama presidency. They've portrayed him as a radical, a socialist who pals around with terrorists. They've called him Muslim, communist, anti-American and elitist. They've intimated that he's a dark-skinned foreigner... some sort of dangerous Other who threatens our way of life. Bipartisanship is not an option for them come January 20th. That may come as a disappointment to the American public, which longs for an end to the partisan bickering in Washington. But it doesn't have to. There's a third option, one that not only satisfies the need to end the constant back-and-forth and gridlock, but also guarantees Barack Obama's reelection in 2012 and progressive majorities for years to come. We should just ignore them. • Ignore the Republicans in Congress. Ignore their silly amendments, ignore their calls for hearings, ignore the speeches they give, and ignore them when they complain about being ignored. • Ignore their right-wing echo chamber. Ignore Limbaugh, Hannity, Coulter, Malkin, Drudge, FOX News and their newspapers and blogs. Ignore it when the mainstream media amplifies them. • Ignore the daily talking points and the noise. Ignore the inevitable anti-Obama conspiracy theories. Ignore the glue factory horse race as their contenders jockey for position in 2012. Ignore them all and just... govern. If things go well on Tuesday, we'll have a Democrat in the White House and Democratic majorities in both Houses of Congress. Even if we don't reach the magic number in the Senate, we can probably get 60 votes on major issues when we need them. That means President Obama can set a bold, progressive agenda and Congress can pass it with little or no fuss. Republicans can complain all they want. They can yell about raising taxes when we cut taxes for 95% of Americans. They can cry "socialism" as we guarantee every man, woman, and child in America health care coverage. They can warn that we're wrecking the economy as we build a new green economy with millions of new jobs, energy independence, and real action on global warming. They can try to rouse fears of a more dangerous world as we finally take our security seriously and rebuild America's reputation. Let them stomp and scream. We'll just govern, and govern well. And come election time — in 2010, 2012, and beyond — we'll be rewarded at the ballot box. You really think Americans are going to vote against the president and the Congress who finally gave them health care? You think if we fix our economy and create jobs that a few silly slogans from the far right will matter? Republicans will be left with nothing but the culture wars of the last century, trying to win on abortion and gay marriage when the rest of us have moved on. They'll be pushed further toward the role of a fringe, regional party, with their candidates vulnerable to third-party spoilers like libertarians and theocrats. Leave the partisan bickering to them. We may not usher in a new era of bipartisanship, but we can give Americans all they've ever really wanted: a government that stands up for them. Tags: '08 elections, democrats, politics, republicans
From: Chicago
Mood:  Screw 'Em
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(Hat-tip ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) maxomai)The McCain campaign is working feverishly to get a videotape of Obama at the same party as American college professor and Palestinian rights activist Rashid Khalidi, hoping that it might help them in their frantic attempt to paint Obama as a terrorist. McCain has just one problem, however. He funded Khalidi's work. "During the 1990s, while he served as chairman of the International Republican Institute (IRI), McCain distributed several grants to the Palestinian research center co-founded by Khalidi, including one worth half a million dollars.
A 1998 tax filing for the McCain-led group shows a $448,873 grant to Khalidi's Center for Palestine Research and Studies for work in the West Bank." You'd think that - even as desperate as they are - Crusty's caretakers would do a little research before launching another worthless smear. Idiots. Tags: '08 elections, john mccain, republican hypocrisy, republican smear, swiftboat
From: Chicago
Mood: *chuckle*
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The GOP Ticket's Appalling Contempt
For Knowledge & Learning
(Artwork by Zina Saunders)In an election that has been fought on an astoundingly low cultural and intellectual level, with both candidates pretending that tax cuts can go like peaches and cream with the staggering new levels of federal deficit, and paltry charges being traded in petty ways, and with Joe the Plumber becoming the emblematic stupidity of the campaign, it didn't seem possible that things could go any lower or get any dumber. But they did last Friday, when, at a speech in Pittsburgh, Republican Sarah Palin denounced wasteful expenditure on fruit-fly research, adding for good xenophobic and anti-elitist measure that some of this research took place "in Paris, France" and winding up with a folksy "I kid you not." It was in 1933 that Thomas Hunt Morgan won a Nobel Prize for showing that genes are passed on by way of chromosomes. The experimental creature that he employed in the making of this great discovery was the Drosophila melanogaster, or fruit fly... ( Read the rest )Tags: '08 elections, christian lunatics, gop lizard queens, john mccain, republicans, science, war on science
From: Chicago
Mood:  Cretins
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Y'know, I gotta admit that this free-loading, fly-by-night piece of shit Wurzelbacher is starting to tickle my political nipples: The McCain camp's response to this drivel (via communications director Jeff Sadosky)? "While he’s clearly his own man, so far Joe has offered some penetrating and clear analysis that cuts to the core of many of the concerns that people have with Barack Obama’s statements and policies. … [T]here is good reason to question the judgement that Obama would bring to the Oval Office." Lest you McCain apologists think Sadosky's well-played phrase, "his own man" means your candidate can justifiably wash his hands of Wurzelbacher's urine, it was McCain himself that put ol' Joe out on the campaign trail in a " well-organized rollout." In other words, "Joe the Plumber" is a complete (and, in the end, probably unwitting) tool. If it isn't crystal clear to you - and you know who you are - by now, ol' Straight Talk has clearly and completely lost control of his own campaign, and with it, any dangling shred of honor, character and/or dignity he might have had left. He (along with his idiot sidekick) have no place anywhere near the White House. Ending his career next week will taste all the sweeter after tonight.Tags: '08 elections, barack obama, john mccain, loathsome people, swiftboat, youtube
From: Chicago
Mood: Grave Digging
Now Playing: 'Love Stinks' - J. Geils Band
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Chipper
Yeesh
Sympathetic
Exhausted
Confident
Inspired
Previous